I don't really want to write anything too personal in this blog, but it's such a big part of me that I have to say it. Coming out of a relationship is such a hard thing to handle, and an eye-opening experience all the same. You think you're settled and you become a slacker, next thing you know you realize a relationship is a two person game. I let myself sit. And now I constantly ask why I would ever let myself do that.
He meant a lot to me. He still is. It breaks my heart that I don't mean the same to him anymore. I didn't see it coming, and I know I am at fault. I could have done so many things, but I chose not to. At the same time, it motivated me. It showed me what I've been lacking, and how I can change that. And by change, I mean genuinely change. Change for the better. Change for myself.
I will go on more adventures. I will be fitter. I will be happy. That is my goal. And it will happen this summer while I'm away for two months in Thailand. I promise myself. And we'll see where that takes me.
The two songs I listen to for motivation at the moment:
So, moving on to what I came here to write about. :) I made the best Apple Blueberry Crisp ever!!! It was REALLY good. I couldn't stop murmuring in pleasure when I ate it for the first time. Hahaha! Tastes of like apple pie, but sooo much better. Juicy and all. Mmmm. The leftover is at Tony's right now. Hopefully he eats it before it goes bad. Actually it's been a while since I made it. :S Maybe he should throw it out(?).
Oh, well. I made caramel custard, too! I think some people call it flan here. Anyway, I've made them before, but it's extremely good. Yum yum! Probably because I use brown sugar instead of granulated sugar. Anything with brown sugar is good. ;p
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| Apple Blueberry Crisp! Hah, the stove is so clean (it's usually not that clean). |
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| The cut-up product. As you can see, I was trying to get artistic with it. |
Too bad I don't have pictures of the caramel custard. Maybe next time I make it I'll try to remember to take one of it. Wow, that sounded somewhat like a run-on sentence and a lot of repetition. Lol.
Moving on away from food. I'm starting to run again. I've actually been keep a log since the middle of this month. How far I'm running and how long it takes me. Originally, I started the log so I have a goal to improve myself on and also to maybe showoff to my boyfriend after some time of my progress.
I'm not that strong yet; I'm kind of embarrassed to put down my time and distance. But I will definitely get better. And it was definitely a bad decision to run right after I had dinner. Ughh... that gave me the most horrible stomachache ever! Like something is twisting in there.
Today, I ran from the family apartment on Wilshire Blvd. over to Santa Monica Blvd., then back. It was around 1.8 - 2 miles (I used Google Maps to help me calculate the distance; first it said 1.0 mile one way, then when I looked again it said 0.9 mile - weird right?). It took me 18 minutes-ish, which is pretty consistent with my running time for a mile back on the track at Pepperdine (9:15 minutes).
But dang! I didn't realize how hilly the neighborhood behind the apartment is! I was mostly running downhill and zipping my way through on the way to Santa Monica. And then I realize I'll be running uphill on the way back when I would actually be more tired. Hah! It was a good challenge. I'm so proud that I actually didn't stop to walk (okay, maybe this one time when I was crossing an intersection and thought that a car was turning my way).
I'm also proud that I make such a good time compared to when I was in high school. I feel like I've told this story before, but we have this thing in P.E. called the mile run. So you basically run a mile and the teacher times you. Guess what I used to have? Like 18 minutes!! Jeez Luis! Was I just walking? Wth?!
Anyway, so I fly tomorrow night. Sad times. I couldn't figure out earlier today about what I want to do when I get back. I'll probably be busy the first half or so of the month because I'm helping with an ensemble cast for a musical. Then I have free time and I'm not about to waste it. There is literally nothing to do around my house. NOTHING! Except for running around the neighborhood.
Then I found it! I'm gonna try to go climbing in Chiang Mai! :D Here's the site. It looks really good! I'm actually super excited! I will come back to the States a stronger and more knowledgeable climber, yay!
So I'm getting tired and it's late. Will be heading to bed. Hopefully I sleep better tonight. Like I said, dealing with the end of a relationship is hard. I would wake up and not be able to go back to sleep for a long while. And I've been waking up around 6:30am every morning. That run earlier should have helped though. :) Good night!
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